The Pavilion of the Lord d'Espiry at the Fountain of Tears, 1450

...his pavilion, which was white with a vermillion upper border, showing the colors of the robes described earlier (worn by d'Espiry and his servants in their procession to the field) and within, hanging behind his back on the ceintre* he had a rich cloth of gold....**

...his pavilion, which was in the manner of a a little tent of white satin, decorated and adorned as you will hear later...the knight's pavilion was opened and within there was a rich black cloth of gold hung behind him and extending over a large chair, and it was a floorcloth (marchepié) for the whole pavilion and for more than two ells outside.... ***

D'Espiry seems to have had a talent for drama. When his pavilion was opened he was seen fully armored in his chair with his legs crossed "resembling a Caesar or one of the Worthies in his triumph" with his bannerolle in his hand, in the midst of saying his prayers, which he completed before he began his combat. He was accompanied by four young squires about 12 or 13 years old: two were nephews of a friend and two were his sons. He requested and received permission for the young squires to watch his fight from inside the lists.


*Cintre could mean either the inner suface of a vault or arch, or the wooden scaffolding on which a masonry arch or vault was built. For a pavilion, this may have meant an internal wooden hoop.

**Chastellain, Georges, and Jean Le Fèvre. 1825. Chronique de J. de Lalain. Paris: Verdière. p.256

***La Marche, Olivier de, Henri Beaune, and Jules d'Arbaumont. 1883. Mémoires d'Olivier de La Marche: maître d'hôtel et capitaine des gardes de Charles le Téméraire. Paris: Librairie Renouard, H. Loones, successeur. pp. 182-183

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The Count d'Armagnac Overheats and Drinks Too Much Water, 1391

Many gallant deeds were done this day, which was the feast of St. James and St. Christopher. It was so very hot, that those who bore arms thought they were in an oven, for there was not any wind; and the young men at arms were overpowered by the heat, and unable to exert themselves. Add to this, that the force of the lord de Milan was three to one of the Armagnacs. The dust oppressed them so much, they could not see each other; but the Armagnacs, in this, suffered the most. This was an unfortunate day for the count, who was so overcome by the beat, and near fainting, that he withdrew from the battle, without friend or foe knowing whither he was gone. He had retreated to a small grove of alders, through which ran a little brook; and he no sooner felt his feet in the water, than he thought he was in paradise, and seated himself by the side of the stream. He, with some difficulty, took off his helmet, and remained covered only by the linen scull-cap, and then plunged his face in the water, at the same time, unfortunately, drinking large draughts; for he was thirsty from the heat, and could not quench it. He drank so much, that his blood was chilled, and a numbness of limbs seized him, with a strong inclination to faint. He could not move, and lost the use of speech. His attendants knew not what was become of him, and were the more uneasy, because many prisoners had been made: they therefore ceased fighting.

A short time after this, a squire belonging to the duke of Milan perceived the count d'Armagnac, and wondered much, when he saw him, who he could be; for it was visible he must be some knight or man of high rank: he called out, "Who are you? Surrender; for you are my prisoner." The count heard him, but could not make any answer, as he was unable to articulate, but held out his hand, and made signs that he surrendered. The squire then endeavoured to raise him, but, finding his attempts vain, seated himself beside him, while the skirmish was still continued, and many gallant actions performed.

Sir James de la Berme, being a prudent and valorous knight, perceiving the day was his own, and that many of the enemy were killed and wounded, but that his men were growing weary, and the Armagnacs increasing by fresh men from their camp, ordered a retreat to Alexandria, his men vigorously defending themselves as they retired. The squire, who had fortunately found the count d Armagnac in the state I have. mentioned, unwilling to leave him behind, for he thought him a person of distinction, called to some of his companions to assist in carrying him to the town; and declared that whatever he should receive for his ransom, he would handsomely divide with them for the trouble they would have. They complied with his request, and, with some difficulty, carried him to the squire's lodgings in the city, where the count was disarmed, undressed, and put to bed. By this time, sir James de la Berme had, with his men, re-entered the place, and barricaded the bars and gates, having many prisoners with them. They disarmed and refreshed themselves with what they found at their quarters, as did likewise the Armagnacs, who had been at this skirmish, on their return to the army.

When it was mentioned in the camp that no one knew what was become of the count d'Armagnac, they were much alarmed, and some went to search the places in the neighbourhood where the skirmish had been fought, but, to the great dismay of their companions, they returned without having discovered any traces of him. The squire, into whoso hands he had fallen, desirous to know who he was, addressed himself to a Gascon squire, a man of honour that had been made prisoner, and begged of him to accompany him, with the person who had captured him, to his lodgings. They went thither, and the Lombardy squire led the Gascon to his chamber, where the count d'Armagnac lay bitterly bemoaning. He brought a candle near his face, and said to the Gascon, "My friend, do you know who this man is?" The Gascon, leaning down to examine his features, instantly recognized him, and replied, — "Yes, I ought to know him well; for it is our commander, the count d'Armagnac." The Lombardy squire was rejoiced to hear his prisoner was of such distinction; but the count was so very ill he heard nothing they asked of him. Upon which, his master said; "Come, come, let us leave him quiet, that he may recover himself," and they all quitted the chamber. He died, however, that same night.

FROISSART, J., JOHNES, T., & SAINTE-PALAYE. (1874). Chronicles of England, France, Spain, and the adjoining countries, from the latter part of the reign of Edward II to the coronation of Henry IV. London, Routledge. Johnes Tr. Vol 2. Book 4. Ch. 26 p. 493

The unfortunate count showed the symptoms of water poisoning or water intoxication. Don't let this happen to you!

The outcome must have been a grave disappointment to the Milanese squire.

The People on Rick Santorum's Planet Are Very White

Beneath the perpetually grey overcast skies of Planet Santorum, they lost most of their ability to produce melanin.

Also, on Planet Santorum, wild and crazy transgressive anarchist rebellion consists of wearing a sweater vest underneath your grey sweatshirt.

Suggested Viewing Sequence for the Star Wars Saga

Machete Order. Search your feelings, you know it to be true!

Muscle v. Armor: Unhorsing

Unhorsing a man has all the advantages of throwing a man to the ground in foot combat. In addition, an unhorsed rider has much further to fall, and a greater chance of injury when he hits the ground. When the Earl Of Mar jousted in London in 1393 "he was cast both hors and man, and ij of his rybbis brokyn with þe falle" and he later died in York as he was being carried home on a litter.

Besides being dismounted with a lance stroke a man could be wrestled out of the saddle, as described by the Monk of St Denis in his account of the de Carrouges vs. le Gris duel in 1386. "With his left hand he seized the top of his opponent’s helmet, and drew Jacques toward him and then pulling back a little, threw Jacques to the ground where he lay weighed down by his armor. Jean then drew his sword and killed his enemy, though with great difficulty, because he was fully armored."

William Rishanger reports the encounter between the future Edward I and the count of Chalons at a tournament that got out of hand, the 'little battle of Chalons' in 1273.

The count penetrated Edward's formation and came very close to him, and finally cast aside his sword, and put his arm around Edward's neck, and gripped him with all his strength and tried to pull him from his horse. But Edward held himself stiffly upright, and when he felt the count gripping him firmly he put his spurs to his horse and pulled the count out of his saddle, so that he was hanging from his neck, and vigorously shook him off and cast him down to the ground.

Rishanger, William, and Henry T. Riley. 1865. Willelmi Rishanger, quondam monachi S. Albani, et quorundam anonymorum, chronica et annales, regnantibus Henrico Tertio et Edwardo Primo. London: Longman, Green, Longman, Roberts, and Green. pp. 79-80 Translation copyright Will McLean 2012

Alien in the Galley

Alien in the Galley by ~WillMcLean on deviantART

Another Star Saga illustration, with product placement for Plengfruit jelly.

Muscle vs. Armor: Disarms

A disarmed opponent is much less threatening than one who isn't. Medieval combat manuals taught many disarming techniques, and combatants in recorded medieval armored combat often did their best to disarm their opponent. For example, in the Annesley vs. Katrington fight of 1380:

they began the battell, first with speares, after with swords, and lastlie with daggers.The esquire [...] ouerthrowne. They fought long, till finallie the knight had bereft the esquier of all his weapons, and at length the esquier was manfullie ouerthrowne by the knight.*

Georges Chastellain reported that when Jacques de Lalaing fought on foot against Jean de Boniface in Ghent in 1445, "Sir Jacques, who was strong and powerful, hastened towards the knight, and struck downwards so sharply that he made him lose and drop the axe out of both his hands."**

As usual, Olivier de la Marche gave a different and somewhat less impressive account of Lalaing's perfomance. In his version, Boniface seized Lalaing's axe with his left hand, Lalaing took a great step backwards and pulled it from Boniface's grip, and at this point the judge threw down his baton and stopped the fight.***

Chastellain reported how the squire Jacques d"Avanchier was disarmed at the Pass of the Fountain of Tears in 1450.

They fought well and valiantly for 12 or 14 blows, and then d'Avanchier closed with the knight of the pass and took his axe in one hand. Then the knight of the pass quickly took d'Avanchier strongly by the gorgerin, and pulled him for three or four paces, so that he lost the axe out of both his hands and it fell to earth****

Once again, de la Marche gave a somewhat different report, noting that d'Avanchies was a small man of slight build.

..the knight, recovering the lower spike of the axe, struck him so strongly on the gorgerin that the squire stepped back more than two paces. And when the squire, who was determined and self-assured, saw the danger of the knight's weapon,and knew that the longer it went, the less he would be able to sustain the weight of the weapon, he ventured to advance, axe in hand, right up to Sir Jacques, and seized the knight's axe with his right hand, and quickly secured it with his left hand, abandoning his own, to hold that of his companion more strongly. I remember that the squire's axe remained leaning against Sir Jacques.

But the knight took two or three big steps backwards, pulling the squire, who held his axe, after him with all his force and with that retreat the squire's axe fell to the sand, but the squire did not lose his grip at all. And when the judge saw the squire disarmed he threw down his baton and had them taken. Jacques d'Avanchies was dispossessed of his axe, and holding and retaining in both hands that of Sir Jacques, and I was so close that I heard Sir Jacques say "let go of my axe, because you can't have it"*****

*Raphael Holinshed Chronicles of England, Scotland, and Ireland London, 1587 Volume 6, pp. 424-425

**Chastellain, Georges, and Jean Le Fèvre. 1825. Chronique de J. de Lalain. Paris: Verdière. ch. 29 p. 101 Translation copyright Will Mclean 2012

***La Marche, Olivier de. 1837. Les mémoires de Messire Oliver de La Marche: augmentés d'un estat particulier de la maison du duc Charles Le Hardy, composé du mesme auteur. Paris: [s.n.]. p. 440 Vol. 3 ch. 16, p. 418 Translation copyright Will Mclean 2012

****Chastellain, ch. 72 p. 263

*****La Marche, Vol. 3 ch. 21 p. 440

The Bastard of Glarains vs. Perrot de Lignais, 1375

The bastard of Glarains was the same Savoyard bastard that Froissart renders as Clarins in his account of the combats at Vannes. Perrot Lignais, a Gascon of the English party, had accused the French lord of Montravel, who had been his prisoner, of bad faith. Glarains took up the quarrel, although, he said "I am neither a friend nor relative of the lord of Montravel" offering to fight with the condition that the loser would become the prisoner of the winner.

...and Lignais found his fine tent set up in the lists, to disarm in and receive his companions who had come with him, and Glarains likewise, and each had a chair. And while they were in their chairs they asked them if they had anything more to say, and they said not. Immediately they had the heralds cry "Do your duty!" (Faites vos devoirs)

And they came together doing their arms splendidly, four strokes the one on the other, after throwing the lance, with the sword. But the bastard of Glarains drove his adversary Perrot de Lignais back a good six paces while fighting with the sword. And the strong bastard threw down his sword and went to seize the Englishman Lignais with his hands. And holding him strongly the bastard carried him to the ground and threw himself upon him, and lifted his visor, and gave him three blows in the face with his gauntlet. And when the Englishman felt himself struck and in a bad way, he surrendered, shouting so loudly that he could easily be heard. Nonetheless, Glarains drew the Englishman's sword, and wanted to kill him, when the duke of Bourbon said that it was sufficient, and he had done enough.

Orronville, Jean d', and A.-M. Chazaud. 1876. La chronique du bon duc Loys de Bourbon. Paris: Renouard. Ch. 34, p.99 Translation copyright Will McLean 2012

Jaques de Lalaing vs. Jean Pientois, 1450

The following Wednesday, which was the 14th day of September, Sir Jacques de Lalaing presented himself for the ninth time in that month, which was the last month of the Pass. And it should not be forgotten that Sir Jacques had already fought eleven times in the field.

On the other side a squire of the duchy of Burgundy presented himself, named Jean Pientois, and the two of them armed themselves in their pavilions. And axes were presented to them because the squire had touched the white shield and had requested 52 strokes with the axe.

With the cries and ceremonies done, the host of the enterprise issued from his pavilion, armed, dressed in the colors of the targe touched, as he had done before. And the host of the enterprise had no armor on his right leg.

On the other side issued the said Jean Pientois, armed appropriately with his coat of arms on his back and his head armed with a salade with a haussecol* of mail, very much like the host of the enterprise. And certainly the squire marched in good array, and the champions were both splendidly equipped.

And they fiercely met there, and the squire tried to strike with the lower point of his axe but the knight beat aside the blow. And there he sought to wound the squire, but he stepped back and beat aside the blow. And so they pursued each other on one side and the other with many blows given and struck with great force and fierceness and all their strength.

When about 30 strokes had been struck with the axe, Sir Jacques released his weapon and took that of his companion and held it so strongly that the squire was unable to make use of it. And Sir Jacques held his own axe close to the head, and struck many blows with the upper spike at the face of his companion, and the squire beat them all aside with his right hand with his gauntlet closed. And he beat aside the assault of the knight very vigorously, and the squire with his closed gauntlet struck with all his force at the face of the knight.

He in turn beat aside those strokes, while with his arm he continued to hold the axe of his companion,

And they continued their battle in this way, until the squire was wounded and bleeding from the point of the axe in his face. And after having fought for a long time they were taken and parted by those that guarded the lists.

Sir Jacques said to the squire “It is not honorable to fight with your fist like a woman". To which the squire responded “If you had not taken my axe I would have fought you with my weapon, and the hands of a man are made to attack and to defend”.

*haussecol: a neck defense that could also cover the face up to the bottom of the lip.

La Marche, Olivier de. 1836.-1839 Les mémoires de Messire Oliver de La Marche: augmentés d'un estat particulier de la maison du duc Charles Le Hardy, composé du mesme auteur. Paris: [s.n.]. 1837 Vol. 3, ch. 22 p. 443 Translation copyright Will McLean 2012