Pluto Not a Planet

The International Animators Union voted on Thursday to declare that Pluto was not a planet but in fact a dog. "It was actually a fairly easy call" said one delegate "Pluto's long nose, tail, and quadrupedal gait made it a relatively easy decision". The upcoming vote on Goofy's status was expected to be more contentious.

"Yes, he has a long nose and floppy ears. And he slobbers. But he's also a biped with opposable thumbs" the delegate continued. The union is debating moving to a more nuanced classification system recognizing animals, funny animals, litigants, mascots and pathetic losers.

Funny animals would officially encompass bipedal anthropoidal animals with opposable thumbs. Litigants would be defined as funny animals sufficiently powerful to be orbited by their own copyright attorneys. An additional category was included, according to one source, because "just because you strap a racoon tail to your butt, that doesn't mean you're a funny animal"