Warm Bodies

R and Julie are remarkably less stupid than their Shakespearean prototypes although R is a lot less articulate. Still, the road to true love is not smooth.

Undead Collective Noun

A shamble of zombies.

Anonymous: Zombie Edward de Vere Wrote Macbeth and The Tempest

After his death in 1604.

"Tomorrrrrrrow and tomorrrrrrow and tomorrrrrrow.....rrrrr.......brrrrains....."

Best Wedding Photos Ever.

Here. Thanks to Amy Victoria Lindey.

Nothing Says Christmas Like a Knit Amphisbaena Scarf

Isidore of Seville tells us that alone among snakes, the amphisbaena goes out in the cold, so what could be more appropriate for the season than this charming amphisbaena scarf?

If you're trying to find a gift for someone who already has an amphisbaena scarf, perhaps you could get them a jelly wobbler:




And to be completely prepared for the holidays, you may want to watch this instructional video

Thanksgiving 2010: Chaucer, the Aeneid, Zombies, and Fiore Banners on the March

Geoffrey Chaucer blogs about the Aeneid and Zombyes and other mashups.

For Ich have founde a newe maner of makynge the which deliteth me wyth greet delite. In thys newe kynde of booke, the writere taketh the weightie werke of an auncient auctor of much renowne (or paraventure a well-knowene romaunce) and mixeth yt wyth whimsical tales of the supernatural.

(Links added)

The Chicago Swordplay Guild marches in the 2010 Chicago Thanksgiving Day Parade, with banners displaying Fiore's animals.

Afterlife. Well Spent.

Sears reaches out to the underserved unliving demographic.

Seven Reasons to Date a Medievalist

Unlocked Wordhoard lists compelling reasons to date a medievalist. Including, of course, our superior zombie apocalypse survival skills

Jane Austen and the Vampires

I read that Mr. Darcy, Vampyre is just one of a queue of books lining up for release that infest the world of Jane Austen with aloof romantical vampires or possibly vampyres. This is just wrong. The world needs this sub-genre even less than it needs Father Brown and the Goblet of Fire or Aubrey and Maturin vs. the CGI Giant Squid*.

Ah, you say, but what about Pride and Prejudice and Zombies or Sense and Studdingsails? That's different. Some genres mash up better than others. Don't be deceived by the superficial undead similarity of zombie fiction and vampire fiction. They're as different as cozy and noir, if not more so.

The current fad for fiction featuring room-temperature vampire demon lovers that sleep in a box fills a very similar ecological niche to the horrid gothic novels Austen parodied in Northanger Abbey.

“I will read you their names directly; here they are, in my pocket-book. Castle of Wolfenbach, Clermont, Mysterious Warnings, Necromancer of the Black Forest, Midnight Bell, Orphan of the Rhine, and Horrid Mysteries. Those will last us some time.”
“Yes, pretty well; but are they all horrid, are you sure they are all horrid?”
“Yes, quite sure; for a particular friend of mine, a Miss Andrews, a sweet girl, one of the sweetest creatures in the world, has read every one of them.”

Jane Austen had little patience with dark Byronic anti-heroes, even when they were only metaphorical bloodsuckers.

What might actually work would be a screenplay that updated Northanger Abbey the way Clueless updated Emma: 17 year old Kathy Morland has read too many Romantical Vampire Novels and through a series of misunderstandings wrongly concludes that various other characters are accursed, secretly undead, or both.

*At least Aubrey and Maturin would have the sense to know that you can't blow up a stockpile of gunpowder and rum by shooting a musket ball into it from a distance, and could have a prolonged discussion about swivel guns, heated shot, Admiralty regulations against the use of shot furnaces on shipboard, the possibility of improvising the armorers forge in an emergency, the desirability of doubled and dampened wadding, etc. Not to mention the tragedy of spoiling a unique and splendid specimen of Architeuthis Krakensis with a rum and gunpowder explosion that would probably just get it angry, for all love.

Well, it would have its moments, but I don't think you could sustain at over the length of a novel.

The Practical Application of the Art of the Sword to Modern Life

Here. Also, it's a good aerobic workout.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is scheduled for release April 15, 2009. But who can wait that long? Not I.


Chapter 1

IT is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.

However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.

" My dear Mr Bennet," said his lady to him one day, " have you heard that Netherfield Park has been overrun by zombies ? "

Mr Bennet replied that he had not.

Best Dead Guest Blogger of the Week

Here.

Extremely Relaxed Yoga

Do you shuffle through your daily existence, suffering from stiffness and poor mobility? Are you dissatisfied with your posture, dexterity skills and breathing? Do you want to improve your self acceptance? Are you drawn to the serenity of a much, much calmer and less frenetic lifestyle? Do you hunger for something more? If so, you might wish to pursue your interests with a group that shares the same goals, like this Yoga program at East River State Park.

Channeling Froissart

Froissart, one of my favorite 14th century authors, had an attitude more like a docudrama writer than a modern historian. He strove to create a vivid account of events, and if he didn't know all the facts he added “corroborative detail, intended to give artistic verisimilitude to an otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative”.

Sometimes even the supposedly factual grain of sand about which Froissart secreted his narrative pearl was in error, leading to a particularly fictional result.

Recently on an online forum I read an anecdote about Sir John Chandos at the sack of Limoges. The poster had evidently misremembered the city or the protagonist, since Sir John had actually been killed ten months earlier. I couldn’t help imagining what Froissart might have done with that same material as a starting point:

And they put Zombie John Chandos in the vanguard, for they said that he would break the array of the French, and take scarcely any hurt from their bolts and arrows and so it came about. And he kept his visor up, which sorely affrighted the French, and cried his cry in a high voice, which was that day: “Cerveaux! Rrrrr! Cerveaux!” And after the intaking of the town, he wandered off to protect the ladies and demoiselles, for he still dimly remembered his courtesy from when he was on live. They say that he was a great aid and assistance to the English in the assault that day, save that he tried to eat the brains of the Bishop of Limoges, but they restrained him.