Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Authentically Medieval Ahistorical Tripe

It turns out that a lot of the historical travesties in Braveheart aren't actually Hollywood inventions. Wallace's romance with babesome English royalty? Straight out of Blind Harry's 15th c. poem. Mass hanging of Scottish nobles in a barn based on misunderstanding of earlier account? Blind Harry. Nonexistent assault on York? Blind Harry. Undocumented encounter between the Bruce and Wallace at Falkirk? Blind Harry.

However, Gibson's team still get the blame for the anachronistic blue face paint that makes the Scots look like homicidal smurfs. And filming the battle of Stirling Bridge without the bridge because it got in the way. Which is a lot like filming storming Omaha Beach in Omaha because it's more convenient.


Anonymous said...

Damn. And I thought the smurfs were taken from accounts of blue-faced celts.

Will McLean said...

Blue-painted Celts went out of fashion about 800 years before Wallace

Steve Muhlberger said...

Medieval authors had 1000 years to rev up on the tripe production front.

Especially those vernacular guys, who seldom worried if Boethius would disapprove.

But then Boethius wrote musical theater while in prison, so who knows?

Eric Blair said...

Yeah, but they get to kill English!